Noel Lee Is Not an Enormous Douche, Says Noel Lee

Noel Lee, the self described "Head Monster" of Monster Cable, took a break from making two million dollars a second to plead the case that: A. he is not an enormous douche, and B. Monster Cable is not some kind of faceless, heartless, soulless marketing empire bent on suing everyone who's even read the word monster out of existence.



Apparently Mr. Lee thinks Monster is still a small company, and he's still one of the little guys. I didn't know the definition of "little guy" was changed to include owning your own football stadium, or treating your top hucksters (read: sales people) to joy rides in your Ferraris, or that "fair price" means 2000% markup.

The video was also recorded during Monster Cable Monster opposite day, where phrases like "we don't have a lot of money" and "we don't like to sue" actually mean "we have buckets of money" and "our lawyers are chomping at the bit like rabid dogs". Mr. Lee apparently believes that Monster Mini-golf is trying to take over the country, and must be stopped. Why he felt the need to sue over Monster's Inc., Monster Jobs, Monster House and Garage, etc, or threaten to sue Tartan/Blue Jeans Cable for their completely ordinary looking RCA connectors went unexplained.